Sunday Leftovers

Holy cow. Is that okay to say?
"Collisions:When Faith and the World Collide" that has been our current message series at my lovely home church. Let me just say that there was a collision in the heavenlies at 9am service. I am pretty sure that i was the only one fully aware and i feel compelled to enlighten whoever stumbles upon my silly blog. So i must first set the scene for you. My childhood years were lets just say "horribly abusive" um, yah, i think that is enough said you can grasp the fullness of what i am saying through the rest of the story. God has done quite the overhaul on my life and it is only through His amazing work i am able to have some form of relationship with my family. That is not to say that it is easy by any means, He has taught me to fight the good fight with holding every thought captive, staying in the Word and face down, nose to the carpet praying. Whew. Needless to say it has been a long, emotionally, exhausting week as i have prepared for a visit. So Sunday morning i am feeling pretty good, the visit is halfway over and my family had said they wanted to go to church with us, so i thought i'm golden i can do this. Worship together, have the Word spoken over us, sounds good, right? We usually go to the 11am because Tony and the kids all serve at 9am so i was on my own. Well Tom, our worship leader is greeting us, going over announcements so i'm sitting there checking out the bulletin when i see the title to todays message "Lust and Immorality" I, sitting in the 3rd row, looked up at Tom and i'm pretty sure he was unaware (considering he didn't come over and give me CPR or anything) said with my eyes "farewell my friend, i am going to die now" See my old way of thinking was pretty much my heart is just going to stop, just stop. For it to explode would be too much emotion, my heart would stop, i would breathe my last breath, i am done. Then he said to stand and say hello, Thorunn i don't know if you felt all your strength leave you during that hug but i took it. All week as i have been praying and pretty much reminding myself of Scriptures that i know God has spoken over my life such as Jer 29:11, lots of times God (cause He knows i love music) will give me a theme song for the moment, this weeks soundtrack has been Amazing Grace (the Lord has promised good to me) and Break Free(we are holding on, holding on to what You've said and You've done) So i began to sing and pray. As i was praying and repeating what God had said "the Lord has promised good to me" Tom stops to reminds us that we need to not get hung up on what songs were going to sing when we come in... TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. But lets remember i am trying to convince myself that this service is not going to be my funeral. Praise God, I have the biggest smile on my face right now as i think of our enormous God, that my brother Tom and i were in a 3 way conversation with the King of the Universe at that moment and we didn't even know it. Mind blowing, truly. So then comes the message. My heart just aches over the path of destruction that can be started off with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then just the quest for more, i know it well. While digging into the history behind my abuse and the why factor came up, it wasn't as if all of a sudden a monster appeared it started with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then clubs, then drugs, then chaos, out of control. To have the truth spoken out loud over us and for neither of us to just flat out die (or run), I have no doubt that my Father in heaven was waging war with the enemy of our souls, that He was saying right there the fact that those two can sit next to each other in My house and sing to Me, talk to Me, and listen to My life changing Word is proof of My amazing grace, My resurrection power and My unfailing love. I am not saying that i am still not going to struggle at times but i will say i felt like God was saying to me "It is finished." He once again confirmed to me that i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Guess how service ended? We usually repeat one of the songs from earlier. Nope. amazing grace. the LORD has promised good to me!

More family coming Wednesday at 1pm, can't wait to see what's next. Yes thats a prayer request.