Someone apparently reads this, I've been tagged to share seven random things about myself.
1.) I hate talking on the phone. (it is currently ringing)
2.) I am a huge procrastinator, I work best under pressure.
3.) I absolutely cannot sing and clap at the same time.
4.) I learned from a book that i should smile at my children (then actually felt the need to practice in the parent pick-up line at school:D) Thank you Elizabeth George, I shall add you to my fave authors.
5.) I was the huge pregnant girl waddling across the stage at my high school graduation.
6.) My husband & I have been together for 19 years, married 13 years. Love ya, baby.
7.) I am painfully aware that my grammar sucks, feel free to correct at any time.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
maybe...
So i just got finished reading my friend Adrienne's blog and feel like maybe i should lighten up. Holy cow. Or maybe at least put a picture of me up so you don't think i'm like emo or something. Is that mean to say?
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sunday Leftovers
Holy cow. Is that okay to say?
"Collisions:When Faith and the World Collide" that has been our current message series at my lovely home church. Let me just say that there was a collision in the heavenlies at 9am service. I am pretty sure that i was the only one fully aware and i feel compelled to enlighten whoever stumbles upon my silly blog. So i must first set the scene for you. My childhood years were lets just say "horribly abusive" um, yah, i think that is enough said you can grasp the fullness of what i am saying through the rest of the story. God has done quite the overhaul on my life and it is only through His amazing work i am able to have some form of relationship with my family. That is not to say that it is easy by any means, He has taught me to fight the good fight with holding every thought captive, staying in the Word and face down, nose to the carpet praying. Whew. Needless to say it has been a long, emotionally, exhausting week as i have prepared for a visit. So Sunday morning i am feeling pretty good, the visit is halfway over and my family had said they wanted to go to church with us, so i thought i'm golden i can do this. Worship together, have the Word spoken over us, sounds good, right? We usually go to the 11am because Tony and the kids all serve at 9am so i was on my own. Well Tom, our worship leader is greeting us, going over announcements so i'm sitting there checking out the bulletin when i see the title to todays message "Lust and Immorality" I, sitting in the 3rd row, looked up at Tom and i'm pretty sure he was unaware (considering he didn't come over and give me CPR or anything) said with my eyes "farewell my friend, i am going to die now" See my old way of thinking was pretty much my heart is just going to stop, just stop. For it to explode would be too much emotion, my heart would stop, i would breathe my last breath, i am done. Then he said to stand and say hello, Thorunn i don't know if you felt all your strength leave you during that hug but i took it. All week as i have been praying and pretty much reminding myself of Scriptures that i know God has spoken over my life such as Jer 29:11, lots of times God (cause He knows i love music) will give me a theme song for the moment, this weeks soundtrack has been Amazing Grace (the Lord has promised good to me) and Break Free(we are holding on, holding on to what You've said and You've done) So i began to sing and pray. As i was praying and repeating what God had said "the Lord has promised good to me" Tom stops to reminds us that we need to not get hung up on what songs were going to sing when we come in... TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. But lets remember i am trying to convince myself that this service is not going to be my funeral. Praise God, I have the biggest smile on my face right now as i think of our enormous God, that my brother Tom and i were in a 3 way conversation with the King of the Universe at that moment and we didn't even know it. Mind blowing, truly. So then comes the message. My heart just aches over the path of destruction that can be started off with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then just the quest for more, i know it well. While digging into the history behind my abuse and the why factor came up, it wasn't as if all of a sudden a monster appeared it started with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then clubs, then drugs, then chaos, out of control. To have the truth spoken out loud over us and for neither of us to just flat out die (or run), I have no doubt that my Father in heaven was waging war with the enemy of our souls, that He was saying right there the fact that those two can sit next to each other in My house and sing to Me, talk to Me, and listen to My life changing Word is proof of My amazing grace, My resurrection power and My unfailing love. I am not saying that i am still not going to struggle at times but i will say i felt like God was saying to me "It is finished." He once again confirmed to me that i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Guess how service ended? We usually repeat one of the songs from earlier. Nope. amazing grace. the LORD has promised good to me!
More family coming Wednesday at 1pm, can't wait to see what's next. Yes thats a prayer request.
"Collisions:When Faith and the World Collide" that has been our current message series at my lovely home church. Let me just say that there was a collision in the heavenlies at 9am service. I am pretty sure that i was the only one fully aware and i feel compelled to enlighten whoever stumbles upon my silly blog. So i must first set the scene for you. My childhood years were lets just say "horribly abusive" um, yah, i think that is enough said you can grasp the fullness of what i am saying through the rest of the story. God has done quite the overhaul on my life and it is only through His amazing work i am able to have some form of relationship with my family. That is not to say that it is easy by any means, He has taught me to fight the good fight with holding every thought captive, staying in the Word and face down, nose to the carpet praying. Whew. Needless to say it has been a long, emotionally, exhausting week as i have prepared for a visit. So Sunday morning i am feeling pretty good, the visit is halfway over and my family had said they wanted to go to church with us, so i thought i'm golden i can do this. Worship together, have the Word spoken over us, sounds good, right? We usually go to the 11am because Tony and the kids all serve at 9am so i was on my own. Well Tom, our worship leader is greeting us, going over announcements so i'm sitting there checking out the bulletin when i see the title to todays message "Lust and Immorality" I, sitting in the 3rd row, looked up at Tom and i'm pretty sure he was unaware (considering he didn't come over and give me CPR or anything) said with my eyes "farewell my friend, i am going to die now" See my old way of thinking was pretty much my heart is just going to stop, just stop. For it to explode would be too much emotion, my heart would stop, i would breathe my last breath, i am done. Then he said to stand and say hello, Thorunn i don't know if you felt all your strength leave you during that hug but i took it. All week as i have been praying and pretty much reminding myself of Scriptures that i know God has spoken over my life such as Jer 29:11, lots of times God (cause He knows i love music) will give me a theme song for the moment, this weeks soundtrack has been Amazing Grace (the Lord has promised good to me) and Break Free(we are holding on, holding on to what You've said and You've done) So i began to sing and pray. As i was praying and repeating what God had said "the Lord has promised good to me" Tom stops to reminds us that we need to not get hung up on what songs were going to sing when we come in... TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. But lets remember i am trying to convince myself that this service is not going to be my funeral. Praise God, I have the biggest smile on my face right now as i think of our enormous God, that my brother Tom and i were in a 3 way conversation with the King of the Universe at that moment and we didn't even know it. Mind blowing, truly. So then comes the message. My heart just aches over the path of destruction that can be started off with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then just the quest for more, i know it well. While digging into the history behind my abuse and the why factor came up, it wasn't as if all of a sudden a monster appeared it started with just a glance, then looking at magazines, then movies, then clubs, then drugs, then chaos, out of control. To have the truth spoken out loud over us and for neither of us to just flat out die (or run), I have no doubt that my Father in heaven was waging war with the enemy of our souls, that He was saying right there the fact that those two can sit next to each other in My house and sing to Me, talk to Me, and listen to My life changing Word is proof of My amazing grace, My resurrection power and My unfailing love. I am not saying that i am still not going to struggle at times but i will say i felt like God was saying to me "It is finished." He once again confirmed to me that i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Guess how service ended? We usually repeat one of the songs from earlier. Nope. amazing grace. the LORD has promised good to me!
More family coming Wednesday at 1pm, can't wait to see what's next. Yes thats a prayer request.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Just thinking.
Whew. Getting ready. Family is going to be visiting this week and i have to prepare myself, no not my house, not my menu, my self. I frustrate myself because sometimes it just seems to hard, like this takes so much work on my part. I admit i struggled with sadness this week but that was more over just what wasn't, sad was never a word i would use to describe my years in turmoil that was just fear, captivity, loneliness, crazy. My friend Kendra and i were talking about it and i think i had a light bulb moment because i was feeling a little guilty about feeling sad. I thought God has brought me through so much, He has blessed me with an amazing husband and children. God has given them a legacy of love, truth and grace, He has broken the chains of abuse, divorce and indifference. I felt maybe ungrateful and guilty for being sad. Then it hit me, that reality is with my past if i wasn't "sad" some may call that psychopathish (yes, i made that word up, its my blog, so i reserve the right) I am so blessed to finally be at a place in my marriage that i can share with my husband my feelings on all this and we both were so in awe of God this week and how far He has brought us. (13th Anniversary!) Even thinking of my family a few years ago would have sent me into a paralyzing fear. Mmmm, aka oppression? Well i thought it was sweet cause he had shared(which meant he cared:) with Michael (his mentor) that i was struggling and Michael said well its okay to be sad as long as she doesn't go al the way back to Egypt. Wise words-i love it. I won't. So, just thinking, out loud, on paper. HA! On the computer. Not one of my finest.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Sunday Leftovers
Well Sunday service was awesome as usual. We had the privilege of our drummer, Randy giving the message. And gave he did. In 2 Cor 15:1 Paul says he would gladly spend himself for his readers because he loves them so much! Well as Randy spoke he was pouring himself as a drink offering for God's glory to be revealed to human eyes and ears. Praise Jesus. I have to say i used to pray (or whine) to God that i wished i had a prettier testimony. Of course i am sad at the time wasted and destructive decisions and painful consequences BUT I can say that it is well with my soul because through that i know Christ and the power of His resurrection. I know that He can make anything glorious, new, His. Randy sharing from his personal experiences is testimony of how Jesus can make all things new. The Bible says we are to walk by faith and not sight but He so loves to blow our minds with living proof, something these eyes of flesh can see. i am so grateful.
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